An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

   

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi. 

   

"G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"  

Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"  

Dog: "Yeah, doin' all right."  

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)  

Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)     

Dog: "Yep."

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"  

Dog: "Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And  takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)  

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"  

Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"  

Horse: "Cool."

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)  

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the  villager)  

Horse: "Yep."

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"  

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes  me down often and keeps me in the shed  to protect me from the elements."  

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)  

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"  

Kiwi: (in a panic) "The sheep's a   f*****' liar......!!"